Hans Moleman (2024)

"My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old!"

―Hans Moleman

Hans Moleman (also known as Ralph Melish) is a 4ft 4 in, 140 lb mole-like man with extremely bad luck. He is also a former Mayor of Springfield.^[2]

Description[edit]

He has cataracts and is almost entirely blind (which has severely impaired his reading ability) and has used medical marijuana. He carries a brown cane with him everywhere, which was once shown to contain a hidden sword.

Biography[edit]

Although apparently elderly, Hans Moleman once claimed that he was only 31 years old (his driver's license says he was born August 2, 1921), but due to his heavy drinking, he appears much older. However, this was wrong, most likely due to a combination of an error on his license and a mixture of old age and drinking.

Moleman is a former mayor of Springfield. Whilst he was the mayor, he bought a town anthem off a traveling salesman, which had also been sold to many other towns and cities. He also balanced the budget eight times during his time as mayor. When it was revealed that former Mayor Moleman had bought the town anthem and not written it himself as he had claimed, he was ejected from Springfield by being tied to a horse and sent out into the desert. After a long time, Moleman said "whoa" and the horse stopped and took him off its back.^[2]

Hans was once mistaken for Bart and accidentally "de-programmed" (Homer and Marge had hired a cult de-programmer, hoping to convince Bart to move out of Mr. Burns' mansion and back in with them), apparently leading him to believe he is the son of Homer and Marge.^[3] At one time, it was revealed that Hans Moleman slept with Lars Ulrich's grandmother, and is considered by Metallica to be a "real fan".^[4]

Homer once stumbled across Hans Moleman as the leader of a race of Mole People in an underground fortress complete with earthquake machines.^[5]

Moleman's home address is 920 Oak Grove, Springfield. He has also been seen living at the Springfield Retirement Castle and he is shown to live in a small house directly below the dam that was erected (and subsequently destroyed). Apparently, he had a father who lived at Springfield Retirement Castle with whom he does the wheelbarrow race with, indicating that he may actually be younger than he looks.^[6]

Love life[edit]

Moleman once went on a date with Selma Bouvier. However, when she imagined what life with Moleman might be like, she kicked him out of her car (outside the wrong house). Moleman also went on a date with Lunchlady Dora at Holding Hands Point, Moleman claimed they were putting their relationship back together. Moleman and Dora were later seen together at a screening of "All the Wrong Reasons".^[7][8] He was seen at "Grownup Halloween" with both Princess Kashmir and Stephanie Brockman.^[9]

Careers[edit]

He runs an early morning radio show, on Springfield's jazz station KJAZZ-FM, in which he introduces himself as "This is Moleman in the Morning, Good Moleman to you". One of his other jobs was driving a truck filled with sugar (which he subsequently flipped onto its side, spilling its contents, much to Homer's delight.) He is often seen driving other types of trucks as well. He was seen transporting the birthplace of Edgar Allan Poe in a truck.^[10] He also teaches an orange-eating class at the Adult Learning Centre in Springfield.

On another occasion, it is implied that he works at a bird sanctuary, as he has to order a bird seed bell ("No, that's too big").^[11] He once worked as a postal worker. He once worked as a janitor at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and received a severe head wound ("Oh no, my brains.") from Mr. Burns when Moleman asked Burns for seventeen dollars for a push-broom rebristling; Burns, high on ether, mistook him for the Lucky Charms leprechaun and went to his skull with a power drill. He has also been seen representing a Solar Power company.^[12] Homer stumbles across Hans Moleman as the leader of a race of Mole People in an underground fortress complete with earthquake machines.^[5] Before now he has also been working in a prison as someone giving out books.He has also made a short movie for the Springfield movie festival entitled "Man getting hit by football" in which his only three words were "Ow, my groin".Most recently, he has been sighted working as a teller at the First Bank of Springfield. He also worked as a Duff Delivery man in ^[13] and a janitor at the Power plant.^[14][15]

Accidents[edit]

Hans has escaped death innumerable times, usually highly improbably. He survived when his car exploded, after Otto mistook the gremlin on the side of the schoolbus, for Moleman's AMC Gremlin (a car). He survived being thrown out of a 2 story building, he survived catching on fire due to the powerful magnifying effect of his glasses, Montgomery Burns drilling into his brain, capital punishment (in a local jail) after Homer eats his last meal, being crushed by a pizzeria rubble, being buried alive, getting stranded in the snow surrounded by wolves, getting run over by the school bus, mysteriously flying into the side of a restaurant,^[16] sinking completely into quicksand, being run over (while carrying a "U Suck" sign in the middle of countless "Keep Out" signs) by Homer Simpson when trying to dump the Pig Crap into Springfield Lake, and being engulfed by the "anti-escape orb" that was attempting to catch Marge from escaping a Movementarian compound (a parody of the Rover security device from the 60s show the Prisoner).

Many times people will totally disregard him, usually leading to something like death, or simply imprisonment, but since he appears, even after "dying", those later appearances could indicate he survived. He has also had several accidents where he was not severely injured. He further angered the crowd at Bart and Lisa's junior hockey final because he fell down the steps then shouted 'We paid for blood!!'.^[17] He also crashed his 1959 Cadillac into the side of Springfield's Planet Hype restaurant (which Marge mistook for a clever decoration). On one occasion, due to Homer's stupidity, he nearly drowned in his truck when it sank into the river after Homer blew up the bridge between Duff Brewery island and the rest of Springfield.

Non-canon[edit]

The contents of this article or section are considered to be non-canon and therefore may not have actually happened or existed.

Moleman was once a handsome, muscular man, until a radioactive rod Homer accidentally dropped in his drink (in reference to the title theme) made him who he is today.^[18]

The Simpsons: Road Rage[edit]

In The Simpsons: Road Rage, Moleman is one of the characters who can be picked up as a passenger. He lives in an apartment on a back street near the Springfield Grocery Store.

The Simpsons: Tapped Out[edit]

Default[edit]

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Squeaky-voiced Teens & Molemen. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.

Hans Moleman
Image	Cost	Unlock method	Unlock message	Yearbook
	60	Level 7 Premium		30
Technical Information	ID	Groups		Internal Name
	25	Premium Characters, Premium Male, Kook, Senior, Adult, Krustyland Goers	HansMoleman

Permanent Tasks

Task Time Reward Requires Quest with the task Animated? Go Skating 10m 26, 7 Simpsons' Skating Rink Rule Underground Kingdom of Mole People 60m 105, 26 Town Hall Mole Of All Trades Deliver Books to Inmates 4h 260, 70 Springfield Penitentiary Mole Of All Trades Overpay for Sex on the Beach 4h 260, 70 Smooches on the Beach Stay at the Swelldorado 4h 260, 70 Swelldorado Party at the First Class Lounge 4h 260, 70 The First Class Lounge Try to Win at Blackjack 4h 260, 70 $ Casino Drink and Babysit 4h 260, 70 The Boiled Potato Attend Parenting Seminars 4h 260, 70 Universal Panacea Shop for Cider 4h 260, 70 Mt. Swartzwelder Historic Cider Mill Provide Security 6h 350, 100 Krusty Burger Mole Of All Trades Hide Out From the Fuzz 6h 350, 90 Warehouse Hideout Complain About Lumbargo 6h 350, 90 Springfield Medical Center Clean the Power Plant 8h 420, 105 Cooling Towers Mole Of All Trades Dance the Señor Burns 8h 420, 105 Chez Guevara Flip Burgers 12h 600, 150 Krusty Burger Mole Of All Trades Enjoy a Night at the Theater 12h 600, 150 Springfield Playhouse Complain About Electric Buzzing 12h 600, 150 The Buzzing Sign Diner Participate in Clinical Trials 12h 600, 150 Hotenhoffer Pharmaceuticals Attend a Viewing 12h 600, 150 Springfield Funeral Home Make a Short Film 24h 1,000, 225 Springfield Film Festival Produce a Hit Jazz Album 24h 1,000, 225 Groovetone Records Buy Groceries at a Kindling Store 24h 1,000, 225 Kevin's Kindling

Krustyland Tasks
Task Time Reward Requires Quest with the task Animated? Work at the Gift Shop 60m 31, 26 Gift Shop Wash Dishes 4h 78, 70 The Food Needle Clean Out the Pool 8h 126, 105 Wet & Smokey Stunt Show Flip Burgers 12h 180, 150 Krustyland Burger Sleep in the Servants Quarters 24h 300, 225 Krustyland Hotel

Hans Mechman[edit]

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Robots. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.

Hans Mechman
Image	Cost	Unlock method	Unlock message
	FREE	Bart Royale and Rise of the Robots Tray of 132 Donuts
1	Shattered Dreams Mystery Box SciFi
Technical Information	ID	Groups	Internal Name
	194000	Premium Characters	HansMechman

Permanent Tasks

Task Time Reward Requires Quest with the task Animated? Go Skating 10m 26, 7 Simpsons' Skating Rink Closely Monitor Bart 60m 105, 26 Simpson House Annihilate Targets 4h 260, 70 Spite the Hans That Sees You Pt. 2 Seek Targets 8h 420, 105 Spite the Hans That Sees You Pt. 1 Investigate a Butterfly 12h 600, 150 Enjoy a Night at the Theater 12h 600, 150 Springfield Playhouse Complain About Electric Buzzing 12h 600, 150 The Buzzing Sign Diner Refill Steam Engine Reservoir 24h 1,000, 225 Kwik-E-Mart Buy Groceries at a Kindling Store 24h 1,000, 225 Kevin's Kindling

Iron Lung[edit]

This section is transcluded from The Simpsons: Tapped Out characters/Dependables. To edit it, please edit the transcluded page.

Iron Lung
Image	Cost	Unlock method	Unlock message	Costume of
	60	Super Powers Premium		Hans Moleman
Technical Information	ID	Groups		Internal Name
	206000	N/A	IronLung

Permanent Tasks
Task Time Reward Requires Quest with the task Animated? Play Cards 60m 210, 52 The Rambler Dependables Evermore Pt. 6 Go on Life Support 4h 260, 70 On the Fritz Pt. 4 See an Un-physical Therapist 8h 420, 105 Moe's Tavern On the Fritz Pt. 1 Get His Suit Repaired 12h 600, 150 Springfield Elementary On the Fritz Pt. 2 Attempt to Stop a Robbery 24h 1,000, 225 Kwik-E-Mart

Behind the Laughter[edit]

Moleman first appeared as a character model for the season two episode "Principal Charming", but he looked so shriveled and unrealistic that some one proclaimed to look like a "mole man". Before this, Moleman was known as "Kindly Old Gent". However, he was used in several episodes and later became a recurring character.

According to the episode "Principal Charming", his name was Ralph Melish, which is a reference to the Monty Python sketch, The Adventures Of Ralph Melish: Hot Dog and Knickers, from The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief.

According to a DVD commentary for one episode, some number of viewers were offended by Moleman's appearance, and he was reused in order to annoy people of such a viewpoint. Matt Groening has claimed that Hans Moleman was inspired by Tex Avery's Droopy Dog, who shares many of Moleman's deadpan and unassuming mannerisms.

Appearances[edit]

References[edit]

Wikisimpsons has a collection of images related to Hans Moleman.