80 Ralph Wiggum Quotes on His Hilarious Worldview (2022) (2024)

See the world through the eyes of a carefree youngster with these Ralph Wiggum quotes, and maybe you’ll find some valuable tips on how to make life easier for you.

Ralph Wiggum appears as the son of Police Chief Wiggum in the animated series, The Simpsons. Ralph is more interesting than he seems, and his perspective on life differs from others in some ways. He also has a unique way of turning life’s difficulties into personal advantages.

The ability to manage your own life in a carefree yet meaningful way is an excellent skill to have. Allow yourself to enjoy the ups and downs of life and don’t take it all too seriously. We’ve collected these quotes to remind you of the beauty of life and to enjoy every moment you have.

Check the complete list below.

Best Ralph Wiggum Quotes

1. “Me, fail English? That’s unpossible.”

2. “I want to be a triangle.”

3. “Lisa’s bad dancing makes my feet sad.”

4. “I was done before we came in.”

5. “Lies are like stars, they always come out. I have five face holes.”

6. “And I want a bike and a monkey and a friend for the monkey.”

7. “Hi, Lisa! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers, I’m learneding.”

8. “That’s where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things.”

9. “I wet my arm pants.”

10. “I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant!”

11. “If Mommy’s purse didn’t belong in the microwave, why did it fit?”

12. “Oopsie! I feel a breeze on my bum-bum!”

13. “Mr. Kitty-cat, take me to your leader, Garfield.”

14. “Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.”

15. “Dear Miss Hoover, you have Lyme disease. We miss you. Kevin is biting me. Come back soon. Here’s a drawing of a spirokeet. Love, Ralph.”

Famous Ralph Wiggum Quotes

16. “All my friends have birthdays this year!”

17. “I’m Idaho!”

18. “Plant it and you’ll grow a new Ralph.”

19. “I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers.”

20. “Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren’t around and I’m not allowed to turn on the stove.”

21. “Clouds are God’s sneezes!”

22. “Wheeee―ow, I bit my tongue.”

23. “I’m a furniture!”

24. “He’s still funny, but not ha-ha funny.”

25. “I dress myself.”

26. “The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there.”

27. “And when the doctor said I didn’t have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life.”

28. “Wheee! I’m a flying saucer! Zoom!”

29. “I wanna go back inside, Mommy.”

30. “Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a Viking!”

Ralph Wiggum Quotes That Are Full of Concern

31. “Was President Lincoln okay?”

32. “Does that mean you’re crazy?”

33. “Why do people run away from me?”

Animal-Related Ralph Wiggum Quotes to Make You Smile

34. “My cat’s name is Mittens.”

35. “The rat symbolizes obviousness!”

36. “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”

37. “Do alligators alligate?”

38. “Um, Miss Hoover? There’s a dog in the vents.”

Ralph Wiggum Quotes About Friends and Family

39. “Look, Big Daddy. It’s Regular Daddy.”

40. “My parents won’t let me use scissors.”

41. “My Daddy’s gonna put you in jail.”

42. “Let’s be friends. It says ‘bee,’ and there’s a picture of a bee on it!”

Ralph Wiggum Quotes on Food, Drinks, and Flavor

43. “I’m embarrassed for you.”

44. “I caught a white apple.”

45. “I ate all my caps―ow!”

46. “My knob tastes funny.”

47. “I ate too much plastic candy.”

48. “He’s gonna smell like hot dogs.”

49. “Can you open my milk, Mommy?”

50. “This snowflake tastes like fish sticks.”

51. “Look, Daddy, a whale egg!”

52. “I ate the blue ones―they taste like burning.”

53. “Look, Daddy, ‘Officer Puppy likes donuts too!’ Mmmm. Chocolatey!”

54. “I drink blue juice from under the sink!”

55. “Wait, mister. You’re drinking a candle. You don’t want wax in your mouth, do you?”

56. “You have the bestest dad. He read me a story about Chinese food.”

Funny and Hilarious Ralph Wiggum Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

57. “Daddy, I’m scared. Too scared to wet my pants.”

58. “Sir, I got carsick in your office.”

59. “This is my swing set. This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end.”

60. “I found a moon rock in my nose!”

61. “Bushes are nice ’cause they don’t have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!”

62. “That’s me because I swim with my flotuses on.”

63. “When I grow up, I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar.”

64. “My Grandma had hair like that when she went to sleep in her forever box.”

65. “Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulders.”

66. “I’m wearing a bathrobe, and I’m not even sick.”

67. “When I grow up, I’m going to Bovine University.”

68. “And the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy, and that’s why it was the best summer ever.”

69. “In 50 years, the vacuum cleaner will be quiet and not scary.”

70. “Fireworks make my ears yell!”

71. “Martin Luther King had a dream. Dreams are where Elmo and Toy Story had a party and I was invited. Yay! My turn is over!”

Short and Silly Ralph Wiggum Quotes

72. “Candles taste like burning.”

73. “Your eyes need diapers.”

74. “I’m in danger.”

75. “I’m a unitard.”

76. “I’m a Star Wars.”

77. “My face is on fire.”

78. “I bent my wookie.”

79. “Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!”

80. “Your hair is tall―and pretty!”

What Is the Most Important Life Lesson You’ve Learned From Ralph Wiggum?

Ralph Wiggum is an 8-year-old boy who is mentally challenged yet good-natured. He is an unusual child who is known for his many weird behaviors and activities.

Ralph sees the world uniquely and lives life to the fullest. He can approach life with a more carefree attitude. He also doesn’t let his shortcomings hinder him from making friends and socializing.

We hope that these Ralph Wiggum quotes put a smile on your face and helped you forget your problems for a while. Life is already heavy to carry; let’s not make it even heavier by putting ourselves down. Let’s appreciate every single thing in life and look at the world through the eyes of a child.

Which Ralph Wiggum quotes put a smile on your face? Please, drop them in the comments section below.

80 Ralph Wiggum Quotes on His Hilarious Worldview (2022) (2024)

FAQs

What does Ralph Wiggum say? ›

"When I grow up, I want to be a principal, or a caterpillar!" - Ralph Wiggum. 6. "My cat's breath smells like cat food."

What does Ralph Wiggum want to be when he grows up? ›

In "To Cur with Love", a flashback scene shows Chief Wiggum and Lou talking about what they want to be when they grow up. Lou (after hearing that Wiggum's goal in life is to be chief of police) says he wants "to be a leader for [his] people, like Ralph Abernathy," to which Wiggum says "Ralph.

What mental disorder does Ralph Wiggum have? ›

Ralph has also demonstrated signs at being borderline psychotic, as he has stated that there is a rock in his yard, where he saw a leprechaun, who told him to burn things. When he later helps save the Mayor of Springfield with Bart and Lisa, the leprechaun appears and tells him, "You've done grand laddie.

How do you unlock Ralph in tapped out? ›

Ralph is a non-premium character released on February 14, 2013, along with the Level 26 update. He is unlocked upon completion of the Wiggum House.

How do you unlock Wiggum in tapped out? ›

The Wiggum House is a residential building which unlocks at Level 26. It costs the player 45500 cash, and is required for the This Little Wiggy task chain.

Why is Bart Simpsons middle name JoJo? ›

His grandnephew Bart Simpson's middle name was presumably named after him (hence Bartholomew JoJo Simpson). He is also the maternal granduncle of Bart, Lisa, and Maggie Simpson, the adoptive maternal uncle of Ling Bouvier, and also the uncle-in-law of Homer Simpson.

How Old Is Simpsons TV show? ›

Created by cartoonist Matt Groening, The Simpsons began in 1987 as a cartoon short on the Tracey Ullman Show, a variety program on the Fox Broadcasting Company. Expanded to half an hour, it debuted as a Christmas special on December 17, 1989, and then began airing regularly in January 1990.

How tall is Ralph from The Simpsons? ›

I'm 31 years old!" Hans Moleman (also known as Ralph Melish) is a 4ft 4 in, 140 lb mole-like man with extremely bad luck. He is also a former Mayor of Springfield.

What is Chief Wiggum's first name? ›

Character played by

Chief Clancy Wiggum is the head of the Springfield Police Department. He is an extreme stereotype of a lazy police officer.

Who is Chief Wiggum based on? ›

Chief Wiggum – Actor Edward G.

Robinson was the inspiration for the sound of his voice, which is provided by Hank Azaria. In a nod to this bit of inspiration, the 2008 'Treehouse of Horror' episode saw Wiggum and Robinson's ghost confront one another, accusing each other of being rip-offs.

How old is Bart Simpson? ›

Bart Simpson's Age

Bart's age is a bit easier to take a swing at hitting, as Bart actually had a birthday officially take place onscreen. Bart turned 10 in the season 3 episode "Radio Bart," and has always canonically been 10 since, making him 38-years-old as of 2020.

Does Bart Simpson have ADHD? ›

He wrote that Bart is normally "not particularly overactive or distractible", and that the writers "trie[d] to make [Bart] seem more hyper than normal". He concluded by saying that "Bart's a behavior problem but not ADHD."

Who is Ralph's real dad in The Simpsons? ›

Who is Bart Simpson's bully? ›

Nelson Mandela Muntz is a fictional character and the lead school bully from the animated television series The Simpsons, where he is best known for his signature mocking laugh "Ha-ha!".

How do you unlock Moe's Tavern in tapped out? ›

Moe's Tavern is a bar in Midtown Springfield that is unlocked during the quest Is There an Al Coholic Here. When the building is complete, the player will unlock Moe and Marge.

What's Barts IQ? ›

Loren Pryor, the school counselor, is waiting to see him. Dr. Pryor walks in on the meeting, and surprises everyone when he tells them that Bart is a “gifted child,” and according to the aptitude test from earlier, Bart has an I.Q. of 216. Dr.

Is Bart Simpson evil? ›

1 Worst: He's Basically Evil

Despite occasionally showing compassion or remorse (though usually after something comes back to bite him), Bart is really quite a twisted individual. Past his behavior towards his family, some of the criminal actions he undertakes or total lack of empathy he shows are quite shocking.

What is Bart short for? ›

Bart is a masculine given name, usually a diminutive of Bartholomew, sometimes of Barton, Bartolomeo, etc. Bart is a Dutch and Ashkenazi Jewish surname, and derives from the name Bartholomäus, a German form of the biblical name Bartholomew meaning 'son of talmai' in Aramaic.

When did Simpsons end? ›

Its thirty-third season premiered on September 26, 2021, and ended on May 22, 2022. The thirty-fourth season premiered on September 25, 2022. The Simpsons received widespread acclaim throughout its early seasons in the 1990s, which are generally considered its "golden age".

How long will The Simpsons last? ›

No. The incredibly popular animated sitcom will move onto season 34 this September, and while there hasn't been news on further renewals, you can expect them. In 2021, The Simpsons was renewed for seasons 33 and 34 simultaneously, and there's been no indication that these would be the end.

Is The Simpsons appropriate for 7 year olds? ›

When it comes to "The Simpsons," Common Sense Media recommends that only children ages 10 and up view the show. The organization cites that the show does contain violence, sexually explicit content, substance use, and anarchy at times.

How old is Homer Simpson? ›

What episode does Ralph Wiggum say I'm in danger? ›

Ralph In Danger Meme

This meme features Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons, sitting at the back of a school bus, with the caption: *chuckles* I'm in danger. This scene is found in “The Simpsons Guy,” a crossover episode between The Simpsons and Family Guy. The episode aired on September 28, 2014 in the USA.

How old is moleman Simpsons? ›

In "Gorillas on the Mast", Hans Moleman claims that he is 88 years old and never learned how to swim. His age of being only 31 is reinstated in The Simpsons: Tapped Out.

Why are The Simpsons yellow? ›

Image credit: The Simpsons Instagram

Groening further revealed how he wanted his cartoon to be eye-catching. When one is flipping through channels, he wanted the bright yellow colour of The Simpsons to catch their eyes and make them go back to watch it. And so, the iconic yellow Simpsons family was created.

When did Lou become black? ›

In the episodes "Krusty Gets Busted", and "There's No Disgrace Like Home", Officer Lou was yellow, being portrayed as a Caucasian character. The first appearance of African-American Officer Lou was in "Bart vs. Thanksgiving" and he would be like this for the rest of the series.

What happened to Chief Wiggums wife? ›

In "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase", where various supporting characters get spin-offs, one spin-off (Wiggum, P.I.) has Sarah's marriage to Clancy eventually dissolve and they get a divorce. He gets custody of Ralph and moves to New Orleans.

Is Chief Wiggum dead? ›

Who is Mr Burns based off of? ›

The show's creator Matt Groening principally based Mr. Burns on his high school teacher Mr. Bailey. Drawing further inspiration from oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller and his grandson David Rockefeller, Groening made Mr. Burns the "embodiment of corporate greed".

Who is Bart Simpson based on? ›

Bart also has a 100-issue comic series entitled the Simpson Comics Presents Bart Simpson. Bart is loosely based on Matt Groening and his older brother, Mark Groening.

What's Bart's full name? ›

Bartholomew JoJo Simpson

Is Bart's hair red? ›

Bart has yellow/blond spiky hair, although it's actually naturally pale red (but it stays yellow when he's out in the sun).

Does Bart ever call Homer dad? ›

Bart calls him "dad", which pleases Homer greatly, and the two rekindle their relationship. Despite Kirk confessing that riding in a go-kart with Bart was the best time of his life, he and Milhouse also make up.

What mental disorder does Ralph Wiggum have? ›

Ralph has also demonstrated signs at being borderline psychotic, as he has stated that there is a rock in his yard, where he saw a leprechaun, who told him to burn things. When he later helps save the Mayor of Springfield with Bart and Lisa, the leprechaun appears and tells him, "You've done grand laddie.

Who is Chief Wiggum based on? ›

Chief Wiggum – Actor Edward G.

Robinson was the inspiration for the sound of his voice, which is provided by Hank Azaria. In a nod to this bit of inspiration, the 2008 'Treehouse of Horror' episode saw Wiggum and Robinson's ghost confront one another, accusing each other of being rip-offs.

Who is Bart Simpson's bully? ›

Nelson Mandela Muntz is a fictional character and the lead school bully from the animated television series The Simpsons, where he is best known for his signature mocking laugh "Ha-ha!".

Why is Bart Simpsons middle name JoJo? ›

His grandnephew Bart Simpson's middle name was presumably named after him (hence Bartholomew JoJo Simpson). He is also the maternal granduncle of Bart, Lisa, and Maggie Simpson, the adoptive maternal uncle of Ling Bouvier, and also the uncle-in-law of Homer Simpson.

Does Bart Simpson have ADHD? ›

He wrote that Bart is normally "not particularly overactive or distractible", and that the writers "trie[d] to make [Bart] seem more hyper than normal". He concluded by saying that "Bart's a behavior problem but not ADHD."

Who is Ralph's real dad in The Simpsons? ›

What mental illness does Homer Simpson have? ›

But in the season premiere of “The Simpsons” on Sunday, Homer Simpson was diagnosed with a pretty unusual health condition: narcolepsy. Narcolepsy is a debilitating disorder, marked by excessive sleepiness during the day.

Why are The Simpsons yellow? ›

Image credit: The Simpsons Instagram

Groening further revealed how he wanted his cartoon to be eye-catching. When one is flipping through channels, he wanted the bright yellow colour of The Simpsons to catch their eyes and make them go back to watch it. And so, the iconic yellow Simpsons family was created.

Is Chief Wiggum dead? ›

Who is Mr Burns based off of? ›

The show's creator Matt Groening principally based Mr. Burns on his high school teacher Mr. Bailey. Drawing further inspiration from oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller and his grandson David Rockefeller, Groening made Mr. Burns the "embodiment of corporate greed".

Who are the 4 bullies in The Simpsons? ›

Dolphin "Dolph" Starbeam, also known as Dolph Shapiro, is one of the school bullies of Springfield Elementary, with Shauna Chalmers, Kearney Zzyzwicz, Jimbo Jones, Nelson Muntz, and the Weasels.

Is Nelson in love with Lisa? ›

In "Holidays of Future Passed", Nelson is shown to be in love with Lisa Simpson. It is implied that the two were almost married, as Lisa asked Bart, "Should I have married Nelson?

What's Barts IQ? ›

Loren Pryor, the school counselor, is waiting to see him. Dr. Pryor walks in on the meeting, and surprises everyone when he tells them that Bart is a “gifted child,” and according to the aptitude test from earlier, Bart has an I.Q. of 216. Dr.

Is Bart Simpson evil? ›

1 Worst: He's Basically Evil

Despite occasionally showing compassion or remorse (though usually after something comes back to bite him), Bart is really quite a twisted individual. Past his behavior towards his family, some of the criminal actions he undertakes or total lack of empathy he shows are quite shocking.

What is Bart short for? ›

Bart is a masculine given name, usually a diminutive of Bartholomew, sometimes of Barton, Bartolomeo, etc. Bart is a Dutch and Ashkenazi Jewish surname, and derives from the name Bartholomäus, a German form of the biblical name Bartholomew meaning 'son of talmai' in Aramaic.

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